Blog 10: Now What?

I wanted to return to my stories from elementary school. I really did. I admit though there is this sort of delayed cloud of apprehension hanging over my head. I want to shut it out, I want to ignore it. I can't. Did we do the right thing? 

The virus still controls our every move. Everyone is trying so hard to be normal, but I can see that patience is wearing thin. A smile at the grocery store is non existent. You look at people now and want to get your tape out to see if they are really six feet away. Trader Joe's is very meticulous about social distancing outside but once you are in 

the store all bets are off. 

Then, there is the need to adapt to a new environment. Auto-pilot no more. Every turn signal move must be re-thunk. Maps and Car-Play are my new passenger. Sometimes I think I might just be too old for reinventing myself. I'm tired. There is a lingering feeling that I would like to be somewhere, but I am discovering it is not a place. After several months of dreaming, planning, packing, waiting, and hoping, and brandishing my shield of stamina, we are catching our breath. Now what? 

Reality replaces the dream state and pushes in the door. After two weeks, there have been more than a few issues with the house we have rented. Michael says this is like a witness protection neighborhood. It reminds me of American Beauty, where all the perfect people live in all the perfect little houses, and have perfect lives. If you watched the film you know behind the scenes it was anything but. I lived through that life of innocence portrayed in the film. There was a lot of truth in the facade.

It is pretty quiet here and we are looking at those positive aspects. We had concerns about the Sonoma Airport being in close proximity, but the noise has been minor. 

We started out in love. We loved the house. We were so glad it had many similarities to the house in AZ. We were spoiled there. We were also in charge of issues that might come up. Now with a landlord things were about to change. We came here mid October to do a walk through. The rent, more than we wanted to pay, was the decision we made to get a little more comfort in the transition. Well, more money doesn't exactly always provide assurance of quality or peace of mind. 

The things pointed out in the walk-through by the property manager were also delineated on paper. We thought, wow, how thorough, and professional. Visuals were great. The house was freshly painted. There was however, an iceberg lurking below the surface. We left for 10 days to go back to AZ to finish packing and get ready for the movers. We were told everything had been taken care of that was on the list, but it wasn't. Upon returning we discovered new issues with the appliances. 

It has taken a lot of abnormal to get back to normal. Thanksgiving for us will be what it was in Prescott Valley, simple and just the two of us. That is okay. We realize that we aren't alone in how we will celebrate the holiday. We, like others will remember the past with family no longer with us and/or great dinners with friends. We'll all try to make the best of it. 

We talk about what exactly was missing in Prescott Valley.  A feeling of home. We both agree that creativity was at a peak in AZ.  We hope we find some version of comfort and productivity here.  We will rent for a year, and evaluate our next steps during this time. We both agree we have one more move in us. 

 

I do miss my friends in Southern California.   Actually, I miss my friends everywhere.  The contribution that true friends have contributed to my life is immeasurable.  Everything happened so fast after retirement, there was no time to adjust to much of anything before we left for AZ. Losing my beloved Murphy just 3 weeks before we left might have been the hardest loss, but it was compounded by all the other changes happening too.  I guess I am feeling a bit nostalgic about it all. 

California.  Home.  That's a start. 

 

I am a bit off my Friday schedule...maybe next week back to where I left off.